While I admit that I really suck at dealing with my own relationships (haha), many of my friends actually do turn to me for advice. As the Chinese saying goes “当局者迷，旁观者清”, I guess it’s true that it is easier to give advice to others but can’t follow them yourself because you know your own self too well (to not to follow? lol).
So while I am probably one of the most negative person you can find. (I wasn’t known as “emogirl” for nothing! lol), I think I am becoming more clear minded in certain things. I guess being on my own overseas gave me some me-time to think about life as a whole and the way I view things. Back then, I will probably be really sore (probably still am) over break ups or a bad friendship. Because I would feel like I put in 100% but the result isn’t what I expected (be it my fault or the other person’s or both) I guess most of the time we have high expectations for ourselves or others around us. When these expectations do not meet in reality, they become disappointment.
As much as I try not to believe in horoscope and whatnot, I tend to portray the Scorpio personality extremely well – emotional, stubborn, sensitive..just to name a few. It takes me ages to stop “feeling” and be more logical in many things I have to deal with in life. I have learnt that to get over something negative, you have to go through the 5 steps of grief no matter what – denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. Most of the time I get stuck at depression because I focus too much on “what ifs” of the past. Now I guess I came to an enlightenment that you have to accept that a loss will always cost you something, be it emotionally or mentally, or both. At some point, you will realize you need not fight the past and you start to see things more clearly. Acceptance is an evolutionary good because it doesn’t mean that you’re the weaker one – it means freedom. Stop going back to the past. Good things happen, but bad things happen to good people too. I must be as aware of the wrong choices that I make as I am of the right ones, and as accountable for the bad decisions I take as I am for the good ones.
So hopefully this post helps some of my friends out there as well – those who are stuck at a crossroad, stuck in post-break up etc. Sometimes it takes the wrong(s) to show you what is right and in the meantime, you just have to continue trying to be the right person on your own. Easier said than done, I know. But have faith, because I am still holding on to mine!
“Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.” – Gloria Steinem