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Ever Yours,with Love.

It’s a Saturday afternoon in December of 2008. With a Toffeenut Latte at RafflesCity Starbucks, I was waiting for the boyfriend aka ‘Daryl the Shitfu’ anxiously after long months of him being just a 2D figure on my screen. Months of chatting online till wee hours (since he was in Canada for exchange) and never-ending emails, finally we met up to have our Toffeenut Latte ‘real date’ and xmas presents exchange. Rather awkward to see him again after so long but glad I agreed to meet him instead of waiting for the school term to start ! (What a difference it might have been!)

And the story continues when we evolved into this ‘complicated’ status on Facebook (social media dependents..lol) which eventually became this not-so-complicated relationship of ours. Of course, Love is never perfect- we both shared our emotional ups and downs in the relationship from the start. Somehow, it’s the seemingly bad and counter-emotions that enable us to appreciate the positive emotions or happy times together.

There are moments when we could possibly be the most insensitive prick to eachother’s feelings which resulted in even more communication breakdowns or disagreements. To make matters worse, we’re both just as hot tempered and stubborn to listen or give in when we were arguing. I’m glad we are learning to listen and understand, respond to the other person as who he/she really is, having more patience with eachother now. Not easy to state all the changes he/I have made over these 12 months – Something new for the both of us but I guess it’s a good thing because if  you don’t love and care for someone – you wouldn’t bother to change ?

Not to get all mushy, but we definitely put in alot of love and effort into this ‘long yet short’ one year. Despite our differences, I think we’ve grown alot from this relationship and learnt to appreciate each other more each day. Things may be awkward at times because we don’t know how to handle the situations, but I believe as long as there’s love – we can overcome these obstacles =)

Looking forward to each and every coming anniversaries together, with trust and the love we bear each other, I hope it will be sufficient to make them blessed…Thank you for loving me =)

Love is a magical thing, it just happens – and I may have met my awkward ‘perfect’ match

Happy our Anniversary to all ! Hur.

Tags: 2008.2009, anniversary, boyfriend, canada, christmas, daryl, exchange, facebook, Love, rafflescity, relationship, social media, starbucks, toffeenut latte

AOTW [14] : Jason Derulo

I was chatting with the boyfriend yesterday about how Imogen Heap‘s “Hide and Seek” is a really good song, legendary in fact ! It’s so good that the song has tons of covers and Jason Derulo has a remix version of it, well in a way it’s considered remix to me, called “Whatcha Say”.

Despite being a ’88 baby, he’s doing really well in his songwriting-singing career ! Typical Pop/R&B/Hip Hop music that is always high in demand in the market. I thought his remix version of “Hide and Seek” was not too bad but I prefer the original by Imogen Heap of course ! What do you think ? (It’s #10 on the billboard chart by the way!)

Whatcha say – Jason Derulo

wha- wha- what did she say
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is

I was so wrong for so long
only tryin to please myself (myself)
girl, i was caught up in her lust
when i dont really want no one else
so, no i know i should of treated you better
but me and you were meant to last forever

so let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
to really be your man
cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
i just didnt know what to do
but when i become a star we’ll be living so large
i’ll do anything for you
so tell me girl

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say)
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

how, could i live with myself
knowing that i let our love go (love go)
and ooh, when i do with one chance
i just gotta let you know
i know what i did wasnt clever
but me and you we’re meant to be together

so let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
to really be your man
cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
i just didnt know what to do
but when i become a star we’ll be living so large
i’ll do anything for you
so tell me girl

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

girl, tell me whatcha said (said)
i dont want you to leave me
though you caught me cheatin
tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
i really need you in my life
cus things aint right, girl
tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
i dont want you to leave me
though you caught me cheatin
tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
i really need you in my life
cus things aint right

Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
i just didnt know what to do
but when i become a star we’ll be living so large
i’ll do anything for you
so baby watcha say!

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

Tags: billboard chart, boyfriend, career, covers, hide and seek, hip hop, imogen heap, jason derulo, Music, pop, r&b, remix, singing, song, song writing, whatcha say

Time for some peeeeeeektures !

Introducing the current love of my life…

Answer : Bagel ! Fine, he’s not mine but the boyfriend‘s…hur

Favourite thing to do ?

Answer : Spending time with the love(s) of my life =)

Craving for IKEA meatballs ?

Answer : Who needs to go all the way to IKEA when the awesomest boyfriend surprises you by secretly buying it home, cooks and satisfy your craving ! xoxo  *blissful pampered girlfriend grin* =)))

Best (and usual) way to spend your Sunday afternoons in SMU ?

Answer : Mugging in the SMUBE studio with the best bunch of friends ! (It’s only fun when you do it with the SMUBE people *ahems*)

Wondering where’s the best place to let your kids roam free ?

Answer : If Botanic Garden is for the dogs, then Changi Airport Terminal 3 it is !

–

Feeling alil guilty for the lack of regular updates ever since school started 2 weeks ago…so some visual “treats” for you =)

Tags: Bagel, botanic garden, boyfriend, changi airport, dogs, ikea, meatballs, mugging, smu, SMUBE, terminal 3

Idealism and Illusion

There’s always the ideal relationship which is based on our own expectations, experiences and perceptions. The relationship that we’re currently in has its own set of conditions which then provides a context for these expectations and makes each relationship unique. These relationships have always been “ideal” until they bump into the reality of it that we get into troubles. Troubles in a subtle sense of insecurity or uncertainty or inexplicably feeling awkward at random occasions. And when you let the ideal of  your relationship overshadow the reality – you are lost in your own illusion.

Sometimes you are afraid of losing – losing the familiarity, losing the “love of your life”, losing to yourself for believing in something you thought was “right”. As devastating as it seems, you may have failed to notice something that’s amiss in your relationship and running away from reality instead of confronting it. Romantic illusions are deceptive/seductive but molding yourself or your partner to someone they are not in order to create an ideal relationship is not the foundation of what a true lasting committed relationship is based upon.

Most of the time, you just have to work out the differences together and compromise while accepting he/she for someone you fell in love with in the first place.  If allowances are given to adjust, most of the time I think couples do become stronger under duress and the relationship would most usually endure. However, if problems are failed to be addressed, it’ll just lead to even bigger issues in the future and it gets even more destructive. Regardless how perfect a relationship may first appear to be, it’s usually just a flawed illusion that can be easily destroyed. Those “Happily Ever After” are woven illusions with defects that are never mentioned, sometimes such idealism may just sabotage your life.

Optimists should continue to hope otherwise. Hur.

–

What do I love about my relationship is -  as much as it appeared to be perfect from the start, we do have our hiccups along the way and I dare say it was not exactly smooth transitions during the past 8 months either since we are almost opposite individuals with rather different thinking/value systems. One thing I’ve learnt is that a relationship is not just 2 people being in love but helping each other to grow and discover the good in themselves while not ignoring and letting the worse gets by.  You don’t mold yourself to become someone you’re not but to someone better in general – there is a difference.

Just want to say “Thank You” to the boyfriend for sticking together through the good and bad, happy and sad times.

Tags: boyfriend, conditions, differences, expectations, experiences, happily ever after, Idealism, Illusion, losing, Love, love of your life, optimists, perceptions, reality, relationship, romantic, troubles

AOTW [6] : The Rocket Summer

I think a good singer should always learn to play a musical instrument or two, else they are just “idol singers”.  I prefer to support singers who can write and compose their own music.

Don’t be fooled by the name “The Rocket Summer“, it is not a band but a solo project by @Bryce Avary – who is on twitter too !

I have to say, even though I thought I’ve quit that “rock era” since polytechnic days, I really enjoyed his music because it  really perks me up to blast his songs at night. You can find some of his live performances on youtube which I thought was really good in terms of  vocal quality and the atmosphere.

Apart from the usual rock, I think The Rocket Summer has really good emotional lyrics that I find most important to me when it comes to liking a song.

I like “So Much Love” and “Do You Feel” but I still prefer one of the older songs “That’s So You” which has this rather raw feel to it.

The lyrics is quite meaningful because lately I’m really just having a bad time but having the boyfriend around makes things so much easier to tolerate. I think it is also important to be proud of your other half in a relationship too, who wants to go out with someone whom you’re ashamed of ?! Be it the person as who he/she is or what they do for a living etc. You’re in love not because you love to be loved and wants to be in love – but to love the person as who he/she is wholeheartedly and being proud of his/her achievements, even if it’s just minor things like…er..winning a game on FIFA (haha).

I’m such a  sucker for sweet lyrics, what’s new ! Enjoy the cute fan video, I don’t think they have an official MV for this song =)

That’s So You – The Rocket Summer

It’s a beautiful day
Now I’ll be ok that you’re not away
Yesterday was a terrible day
But now that you’re here I’m ok
Cause you don’t know how much I, I need you
Please don’t go
You’re so wonderful
This I swear, this I know

You, oh you, every single thing you do
I’m so proud of you
What you do
When you do the things you do
They’re so you

So thanks for your help
You shine so bright
You are the star that’s in my sky
And I am yours and you are mine

I’m so proud of you
That’s so you

Tags: aotw, boyfriend, bryce avary, do you feel, emotional lyrics, fan video, FIFA, idol singers, instrument, live performances, love wholeheartedly, MV, myspace, rock, so much love, solo project, that's so you, the rocket summer, vocal quality

Saying “I Do” : Beauty of Marriage

I have always thought marriage is just a piece of paper and “just a proper excuse to have sex” since growing up. Never really thought of it as something sweet or long lasting because of many divorces and unhappy marriages I’ve witnessed over the years. Each time my parents/sister and her husband  have an argument, I find myself even more determined *NOT* to get married in the future.

My mindset started to change when my mom had her first operation, I finally understood the beauty of marriage and having someone who truly loves you,”to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” My father never once complained about how tiring or troublesome things were (even if he did threw his temper at my sis and I occasionally..haha), nor did he leave my mother to suffer alone. He took care of her with such tender loving care, waited patiently for her in the hospital while she had her operation,sat by her quietly as she sleeps,learning something new and cleanse the wound for her everyday, sent her to the doctor for daily checkup and more. Honestly, at that point of time, I really thought if loving someone meant doing all those things without a single grumble, I don’t think I can love someone at all. Daddy Mak is indeed my hero, deep down in my heart.

“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” -G. K. Chesterton

Sure enough, my parents are no saint either. They do bicker every now and then but I’ve come to realized that all couples do that and it’s perfectly fine if things are worked out between the two afterwards.  The beauty of marriage to me is how two people complement each other with their own gifts and insights instead of trying to be like one another or competing for the same role. While relationship requires devotion, honesty and loyalty, I think marriage is to unite two people at the essential body and heart level (ie communication and intimacy) which is important to maintain a long lasting relationship. Right ?

Till now, I really can’t imagine myself getting married and having a family of my own someday. Even though girls at my age are either planning for their weddings or thinking of having a dozen kids……but oh my, what a scary thought. =\ I want to make sure I really can commit to a marriage before saying “I Do”, that’s for sure.

Guess the boyfriend will have to work harder eh ? =P hur…unless he doesn’t want to marry me *boohoo*…LOL!

“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Tags: argument, beauty of marriage, bicker, boyfriend, communication, complement each other, devotion, divorces, essential body and heart level, father, gifts and insights, growing up, hero, honesty, incomplete, intimacy, loyalty, marriage, marry me, mindset, mother, operation, relationship, saint, scary thought, sex, vow

Making a Commitment in Love

The boyfriend invited me along to one of his best buddy’s wedding last Saturday, this is the first time I’ve attended a wedding without my parents around *and* it’s a friend’s wedding. It makes me happy to see how deeply in love the couple is and how blissful the whole wedding ended off with wonderful blessings from friends and family. Weddings are such fun and *aww moments , I’m guessing all the girls must be secretly wondering if they’ll be the next bride that night ! Congratulations to the couple and best wishes for the two of them =)

It makes me wonder how much it takes to make a commitment in love. I used to have huge commitment phobia, especially in terms of relationships. Now, I believe that such commitment is an on-going effort in which the couple think of one another as “us”, rather than just “you” and “me” as individuals. You experience decisions and setbacks together, learn to communicate, develop a sense of mutual trust and gain intimate knowledge of each other’s lives. Sounds easy but it is probably more complicated than it seems. It really is an effort that both parties have to agree and commit to.

What do I mean by that ?  Take for example, I had a really good weekend because of little “efforts” that both the bf and I made. I never quite liked attending his social gatherings with friends as I find it awkward (well, we’re still relatively “young” couple afterall), but I decided that this wedding is not to be missed since it means alot to him. I’m glad I attended it with him because I got to know his life and friends alot better. Similarly,  I spent the sunday with my family at Sentosa resort. The boyfriend didn’t mind entertaining my lil niece or my parents over dinner and even made an effort to communicate with them. (fyi,language barrier.haha) It certainly means alot to me as it is really a warm fuzzy feeling to see your bf getting along with your family. I guess it’s all these little things that you do for each other (without announcing that you’re going to do it *for* the person) that makes a difference. It makes you appreciate your partner more and treasure the relationship because you know that both of you are in it together.

Being terrible in mathematics myself, I think I have come up with a perfect equation for my belief in love/commitment : One plus One equals to Three: “you”, “me”, and us.

Tags: blessings, boyfriend, commitment, commitment phobia, communicate, complicated, decisions, equation, intimate knowledge, Love, makes a difference, mathematics, mutual trust, on-going effort, one plus one equals to three, relationship, resort, sentosa, setbacks, wedding, you and me and us

What is Love ? I Don’t Know !

Love is lots of things to me.

I can go on and on about how different people may interpret ‘love’ as.

I can tell you all the different definitions you may find online and stories about how love  “should be” like.

There is no singular explanation for ‘love’ because it is a special feeling deep within us, one that makes your heart flutters and yearns for more.

It has something to do with everything when it comes to ‘love’ and the only thing that matters is really just the two people who are in love with each other.

I happened to come across this old song by Joni Mitchell, “Both Sides Now” and I liked this part of the lyrics most :

I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall.
I really don’t know love at all

I can’t say I am a love guru but I have seen happy stories and way too many heartbreaks since I first came across ‘love’.

I believe that there is no such thing as “Mr Perfect” or “The One” out there but that doesn’t mean you can’t find that special someone in your life.

Of course, I’m still at an age that I can’t possibly declare now that the boyfriend is the one I want to spend my entire life with (even though I do want to, haha)

If you ask me “So is this the true love you’ve been waiting for ?” – I honestly don’t know and there’s no way I can tell you the answer.

But he is someone special to me. I may not know how ‘love’ should be like but I think as long as the two people are comfortable with each other and have a certain level of trust and love between them – that’s all it takes to keep the relationship going. (Of course, communication is really important)

I think I have been reading too many relationship-related books lately,  just finished “He’s just not that into you” ! Will review it soon

Actually what triggered this post was thanks to the boyfriend, was quite a sweet surprise to see him at my voiddeck today Especially when he stays at the other end of the world is not exactly an ‘Eastsider’ like me. (and I was late for at least half an hour..haha)

These are the small things in life that makes a difference, and how special love can be.

It is the thought that counts (as cliche as it sounds) but it’s true. Really! Try it on someone you love =)

P.S : No, this is not a mushy post ! I just want to share how people can keep a relationship going strong !

Tags: answer, Both Sides Now, boyfriend, definition, he's just not that into you, Joni Mitchell, Love, relationship, surprise

my addiction..oh,make that obsession.

Now that the term is over, I shall start blogging regularly.

I wanted to share my love for blip.fm but decided that shall be my next post because of this random urge to share this.

So just a short one to start my holiday with

I was reading CLEO ‘s “soft addiction” post (was it by nadnut?) and I was wondering what was my addiction.

In fact, I was searching on the definition of soft addiction earlier on…and according to those questions in the articles, I finally realized what could mine be.

Most girls would go crazy over buying shoes, clothes, bags and beauty products…sadly, I am not one who really cares much about outer appearance.

Kid you not, but I discovered that I am indeed obsessed over – buying pens.

Those you see in this picture is probably just 1/6 of the pens that I have at home.

Of course I do not carry ALL the pens around with me, neither do I have the use for ALL of them.

I “secretly” (not very much a secret anymore) adore buying pens, even if I don’t need a new one at all.

Especially when we no longer write much with the aid of technology, probably only need the pens for exams.

I buy pens when I am upset, when I have nothing to do, when I feel like I should buy something even if there’s nothing to buy

It really cheers me up to see a new color in my pencil case and makes me happy to have new additions to my pen collections.

Most of my pens are from MUJI because I am a brand whore. They have the neatest designs around !

(Just kidding ! But their pens are really nice to write with)

I probably spend alot more money than I really need to in the stores, buying pens that I don’t need. *guilty*

Then again, I think my obsession for pens is equally reasonable as compared to the boyfriend‘s love for comic books.

I think the boyfriend noticed my addiction for MUJI pens after spending months with me -  I managed to convince him to get himself a new pen yesterday !

Alrights, so what’s your soft addiction/obsession ?

Tags: addiction, boyfriend, cheering up, chocolate, comics, Design, habit, muji, obsession, pens, shopping