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Love Yourself.

Future Ted : Kids, there are two basic philosophies of how to handle yourself after a breakup. Some people throw themselves into..

Robin : My career. That’s my number one focus right now. From now on, no more dating, it’s all about work.

Future Ted : .. while others throw themselves into..

Barney : Every woman in New York City ! That’s right, Barney Stinson is back on the market ! Mothers, lock up your daughters.. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCAs !

- How I Met Your Mother “The Playbook” (S5E08) *awesome episode by the way*

Very much like Robin, I have been throwing myself into my summer part time job and planning for the upcoming term. Number one focus is to get my life back together, find and love myself again before I learn to love another. Cliche as it sounds but I think it’s the better than the latter option because 98% of the time, you end up hurting someone new because it ends up like a rebound or you don’t learn from your previous relationship mistakes but rush into someone new and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” – Russ Von Hoelscher

Some people think that it is a good way to move on when you find someone new, in fact, I had friends offering to ‘matchmake’ or introduce guys to me (which I’ve all kindly refused).  During one of the conversations, my friend asked “So what kind of guy do you like ? Can’t really tell your ‘pattern’ apart from the fact that you always end up with ‘hot tempered/emo people’… ” (in which I laughed out loud because come to think about it, it’s quite true..hur) So she suggested that I should write a letter/blog post to remind/prevent myself from making the same ‘mistakes’ – like how Ted would write to Future Ted after each breakup…just that this will be a summary of all the past relationships (haha)

So Dear Future Ingrid,

Remember this : “When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. “- Deepak Chopra

If you start to feel that your partner is having expectations of you, that’s because you feel that you’re not good enough. Instead of complaining or finding faults in the other person, remember a relationship is not just something to ‘take’ from but to ‘give’ as well. If you feel that you can’t meet the ‘expectations’, don’t be afraid to voice it out and find other ways to fill that ‘gap’.  Trust is the main key to effective communication and foundation to hold any relationships.  It can’t be found in words but through actions. People will find out the truth no matter how hard you try to hide it so don’t bother telling lies or covering up. To love is to risk not to be loved in return. When you love someone, it may not mean that you have to be with that somebody. Find someone who shares the same mindset/beliefs/values. Love doesn’t count on the laughter that you shared but on the pain and tears you tried to get over with just for the sake of holding on. To understand is to listen, not what your partner says but what he/she does not say.

Actually, enough of all these nonsense. Just be yourself and love yourself. Like what Ted Mosby said :

“Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger,or throw it in someone’s face.there is a third option you can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone,and you can move forward.
And that, kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn’t mine.

Mine was still out there waiting for me.”

God has his plans for you. =)

So…Thank You(s) for the calls, the SMSes, the DMs, the tweets/plurks, the msn conversations, the talks, the meetups with attempts to make me feel better lately. I am truly blessed with wonderful friends around me and I really appreciate all the effort ! Sorry to cause all the worries but like the following quote :

“But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you’ll get through this too.” – Scrubs

Just give me the space and time too eh ? Thank You once again =)

Tags: Barney, breakup, effective communication, expectations, future ted, How I Met Your Mother, listen, Love, love yourself, perfect ending, perfect love story, quotes, relationship, Robin, russ von hoelscher, scrubs, ted mosby, the playbook, trust

Speak and Listen to your consumers !

More and more businesses are getting on social networking platforms, especially Twitter. I’ve come across many (in fact, way too many) company accounts that are either pretty much inactive or can be classified as ‘spammers’. Sure, 140 characters is good enough for business advertisements, quick and cost-effective. What’s more ? It’s free ! But doing it the wrong way can actually backfire your plans and destroy all potential relationships you may gain.

From personal experiences, I think it is important for business to bear in mind a few tips before starting to reach out to your crowd on social networking sites, IMHO :

1) Know your audience, listen to their needs !

Recently there was this email spam from a certain property agency that pissed most tweeples off. As for me, I think it’s quite silly to email me (of all people!) who have yet to pay off my university debt to check out the new apartments in town. Seriously, do some research and  know who are your target audience ! Obviously I don’t need a condo yet?!

I think it’s a good and important thing that companies are starting to ‘listen’ online to their consumer’s needs too ! I tweeted about looking for a short term rental apartment in Hong Kong just yesterday and I got a reply from @Ascott_Ltd recommending their serviced residences. Perfect example of listening to what your customers need and responding to what they are looking for, without sounding too pushy.

2) Don’t just be yet-another-brand, be personal !

It’s no longer about how ‘BIG’ your brand is but consumers need to be ‘entertained’. It’s nice to know there are ‘real people’ behind the online presence too. We like to see behind-the-scenes after a movie is out, so same goes for brands online. We’re not talking to bots afterall !

I personally like @standingsushi even thought I have yet to try their food. Mainly because I read about them on their blog and I really liked how they bring their concept across. And when I mentioned to my bestie that I want to visit @standingsushi someday, I immediately received a personal message to welcome my future visit. It certainly makes me want to go down and check it out personally (real soon!).

3) It’s about profit BUT more about relationship !

Be a ‘friend’ rather than an annoying salesman. You need to build a relationship based on trust, sincerity and constant interaction. Sure, not everyone can buy your products all the time but hey, no harm retweeting or spreading the message to others who can possibly do so if I like you. Don’t just follow everyone and expects to be followed back instantly. It’s not about the numbers either.

I like @thegardenslug alot as you can see from my tweets if you’ve been following. I started off not knowing what they have to offer but I don’t feel that their main objectives of being online is to force people to visit them but  instead, to build a relationship with their customers. That’s definitely a (Popsicle) brownie point for me and when I visited them, I knew it won’t be the last time I’m going over because The Garden Slug won my heart with their friendliness and awesome food.

4) Don’t act like a naggy old fart. Stop repeating the same messages!

This is spamming. Quality over quantity. 987123415623 tweets about the same product isn’t going to get you sales. We get your message but we may not like it. In fact, count yourself lucky if you still have 1 follower at the end of the day.

5) Reach out – help – contribute !

Sometimes it’s not just about your brand. No one really cares about you on twitter since it’s such a huge community unless you reach out to them individually. Introduce yourself at the right time – don’t be too money-minded aka not too eager to sell your product/services. Promote others or retweet their messages is a good way to start, it’s not just about you afterall. It’s all about the charm and making people genuinely interested in you. Share interesting relevant links or include pictures or videos in your messages. People will follow you if they enjoy reading your tweets.

6) Customer is always number 1. (not entirely true but that’s the saying)

(Almost) Real-time customer service is probably the best thing that one can get from social networking sites. I like how @Starhubcares try to answer to everyone’s enquries and drop direct messages to assist you when you are getting pissed holding on to the phone for half an hour listening to that awful waiting tone. Sometimes it just takes a tiny effort to pacify your angsty customers and we like it when you are willing to listen to our feedback and improve. It’s a 2 way communication afterall.

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Of course I’m no expert and I may be wrong but at least that’s how I feel as a consumer. Any good case studies or examples that you can think of ? Or any other tips you can think of to share ? Open to discussion =)

Tags: 2 way communication, advertisments, apartments, ascott_ltd, behind the scene, case studies, companies, consumers, customer service, experience, Food, Hong Kong, listen, message, networking, online presence, personal, platforms, relationships, social media, spam, speak, standingsushi, starhubcares, target audience, the garden slug, tips, tweeples, twitter, university