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My subconscious tore me to pieces.

Ariadne: Why is it so important to dream?
Cobb: Because, in my dreams we are together.

Cobb: Dreams feel real while we’re in them. It’s only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.

Cobb: I miss you more than I can bear, but we had our time together. I have to let you go.

Mal: Do you know what it is to be a lover? Half of a whole?

Mal: You keep telling yourself what you know. But what do you believe? What do you feel?

Arthur: With the slightest disturbance, the dream’s going to collapse.

Cobb: Look at you. You’re just a shade, a shade of my real wife. How could I capture all your beauty, your complexity, your perfection, your imperfection, in a dream? Yes, you’re the best that I can do. But, I’m sorry, you’re just not good enough.

Cobb: She locked away a secret, deep inside herself, something she once knew to be true… but chose to forget.

Cobb: The moment’s passed. Whatever I do I can’t change this moment. I’m about to call out to them. They run away. If I’m ever going to see their faces I’ve gotta get back home. The real world.

Some lines from the movie really strikes a chord in me, just sharing with a slight re-arrangement to match how I actually feel or hear from the whole story. Guess I could relate to it in a different aspect and in general, life.

People dream of happiness, to know how it feels like to be in love, to be in control of something that makes them happy in life. Yet not many people know the true meaning behind a relationship and how little things can affect the feelings between 2 people. Sometimes people hold on, for different reasons – mainly because they knew what they had before and believe that things will change for the better. However, when this dream collapses, you wake up to reality that is harsh and you realize that you have been obsessed with your own dream and never realizing that the moment has long gone – nothing is going to change. You come back to the real world eventually because you choose to lock yourself away and try to forget, be it returning with regrets, hatred, remorse or simple happiness that you once remembered from these memories.

On a side note, Leonardo DiCaprio definitely has a home run with Inception. Ellen Page is as usual, just an eyecandy with the average sidekick acting skills, along with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. But best film I’ve watched so far this year. Christopher Nolan, impressive !

Tags: ariadne, arthur, christopher nolan, cobb, dream, ellen page, eyecandy, film of the year, happiness, homerun, inception, joseph gordon-levitt, leonardo dicaprio, Love, mal, reality, relationship, sidekick

‘He’s Right.’

Bizarro: You spent the last month telling me that you finally felt like we were meant to be together.
Clark: Don’t listen to him, Lana.
Bizarro: I know what’s in his mind, Lana. He doesn’t love you like I do.
Clark: That’s a lie!
Bizarro: You’re lying, Clark – to yourself! You’re so worried about doing the right thing, you don’t even see it.
Bizarro: [to Lana] You know he won’t commit his life to you like I will. You know that.
Lana: He’s right, Clark.
Clark: What?
Lana: I’ve never been more in love than I have the past month. Only it wasn’t with you. It was with him.
Bizarro: [extends his hand to Lana] Nothing will ever come between us again.

Was watching Smallville (kinda watch some episodes here and there, on and off basis) Season 7 Ep10 ‘Persona’ whereby Bizarro was playing the role of ‘nice Clark’ to Lana who was obviously unaware and smitten. Honestly, as much as I like the idea of Lana and Clark being together, I do think Clark treats her like crap sometimes. The way he ‘protects’ her is not what I see as love but created more misunderstandings as well as problems between them. If he has been honest with her right from the start, well..I guess there won’t be so many seasons ? (haha)

I think it is rather sad for Lana to come to realise how happy and in love she was for the past month with the man she thought has changed to someone who is completely new in her life. (Obviously she chose the right guy, else there won’t be any seasons after season 7 here!) But I guess in reality, there are times whereby you wake up to reality and see the differences – be it in a relationship or friendship. Whatever you were happy with, may not be entirely true or sometimes, it may revert back to how it has been (we see at the end of the episode, the relationship between Clark and Lana worsens)

So why didn’t Lana choose Bizarro instead of Clark ? Is it out of love for Clark or was it just morally right ? (since in the show, Bizarro is the ‘bad guy’ )  Why be in love with a guy who can’t commit to you or love you as much as you see as how it’s ‘meant to be’ ?

Tags: bizarro, clark kent, lana lang, Love, persona, relationship, season 7, smallville

AOTW [35] : Angels And Airwaves

Usually I’ll try to feature youtube/myspace artists but couldn’t find anyone who covered this song by Angels and Airwaves, so here’s the original artist with one of my favourite song from their 2007 I-Empire album. Catchy beat and of course the ever-catchy line of saying “everything’s magic”. Honestly, I prefer the acoustic version featured below.

What I like about Angels and Airwaves (apart from the fact that it’s lead by Blink 182′s Tom DeLonge) is that their music is inspiring and you can always feel the message behind each song.  Their songs somehow grow on you after a few playbacks. Looking forward to see their film ‘Love‘, pretty sure the soundtrack will be awesome !

So down with depressing songs that remind you of the past or dwelling in relationships problems, here’s one to remind you that you still have a purpose in life, give life your best shot, live to the fullest and don’t be afraid to fall in love again.

Angels and Airwaves – Everything’s Magic

And do you ever feel like you’re alone?

And do you ever wish you’d be unknown?

I could say that i have i could say that i have

And do you ever feel things here aren’t right?

And do you ever feel the time slip by?

I can say that i have and i can say that i have

So hear this please

And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly

And look for the stars as the sun goes down

Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound

Everything everything’s magic

Just sit back and hold on but hold on tight

Prepare for the best and the fastest ride

And reach out your hand and i’ll make you mine

Everything everything’s magic

And do you ever lay awake at night?

And do you ever told yourself don’t try

Don’t try to let yourself down don’t try to let yourself down

And do you ever see yourself in love?

And do you ever take a chance my love?

Because you know that i will because you know that i will

So hear this please

And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly

And look for the stars as the sun goes down

Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound

Everything everything’s magic

Just sit back and hold on but hold on tight

Prepare for the best and the fastest ride

And reach out your hand and i’ll make you mine

Everything everything’s magic everything everything’s magic

So hear this please

And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly

And look for the stars as the sun goes down

Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound

Everything everything’s magic

Just sit back and hold on but hold on tight

Prepare for the best and the fastest ride

And reach out your hand and i’ll make you mine

Everything everything’s magic

Tags: acoustic, angels and airwaves, aotw, blink182, everything's magic, Film, i-empire, life, living to the fullest, Love, myspace, purpose in life, relationships, soundtrack, tom Delonge, youtube

Love Yourself.

Future Ted : Kids, there are two basic philosophies of how to handle yourself after a breakup. Some people throw themselves into..

Robin : My career. That’s my number one focus right now. From now on, no more dating, it’s all about work.

Future Ted : .. while others throw themselves into..

Barney : Every woman in New York City ! That’s right, Barney Stinson is back on the market ! Mothers, lock up your daughters.. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCAs !

- How I Met Your Mother “The Playbook” (S5E08) *awesome episode by the way*

Very much like Robin, I have been throwing myself into my summer part time job and planning for the upcoming term. Number one focus is to get my life back together, find and love myself again before I learn to love another. Cliche as it sounds but I think it’s the better than the latter option because 98% of the time, you end up hurting someone new because it ends up like a rebound or you don’t learn from your previous relationship mistakes but rush into someone new and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” – Russ Von Hoelscher

Some people think that it is a good way to move on when you find someone new, in fact, I had friends offering to ‘matchmake’ or introduce guys to me (which I’ve all kindly refused).  During one of the conversations, my friend asked “So what kind of guy do you like ? Can’t really tell your ‘pattern’ apart from the fact that you always end up with ‘hot tempered/emo people’… ” (in which I laughed out loud because come to think about it, it’s quite true..hur) So she suggested that I should write a letter/blog post to remind/prevent myself from making the same ‘mistakes’ – like how Ted would write to Future Ted after each breakup…just that this will be a summary of all the past relationships (haha)

So Dear Future Ingrid,

Remember this : “When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. “- Deepak Chopra

If you start to feel that your partner is having expectations of you, that’s because you feel that you’re not good enough. Instead of complaining or finding faults in the other person, remember a relationship is not just something to ‘take’ from but to ‘give’ as well. If you feel that you can’t meet the ‘expectations’, don’t be afraid to voice it out and find other ways to fill that ‘gap’.  Trust is the main key to effective communication and foundation to hold any relationships.  It can’t be found in words but through actions. People will find out the truth no matter how hard you try to hide it so don’t bother telling lies or covering up. To love is to risk not to be loved in return. When you love someone, it may not mean that you have to be with that somebody. Find someone who shares the same mindset/beliefs/values. Love doesn’t count on the laughter that you shared but on the pain and tears you tried to get over with just for the sake of holding on. To understand is to listen, not what your partner says but what he/she does not say.

Actually, enough of all these nonsense. Just be yourself and love yourself. Like what Ted Mosby said :

“Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger,or throw it in someone’s face.there is a third option you can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone,and you can move forward.
And that, kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn’t mine.

Mine was still out there waiting for me.”

God has his plans for you. =)

So…Thank You(s) for the calls, the SMSes, the DMs, the tweets/plurks, the msn conversations, the talks, the meetups with attempts to make me feel better lately. I am truly blessed with wonderful friends around me and I really appreciate all the effort ! Sorry to cause all the worries but like the following quote :

“But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you’ll get through this too.” – Scrubs

Just give me the space and time too eh ? Thank You once again =)

Tags: Barney, breakup, effective communication, expectations, future ted, How I Met Your Mother, listen, Love, love yourself, perfect ending, perfect love story, quotes, relationship, Robin, russ von hoelscher, scrubs, ted mosby, the playbook, trust

AOTW [28] : Kina Grannis

Keeping this short since I’m having midterms and just recently came back from my Batam trip (will blog about it soon!)

Enjoyed the video and the sweet lyrics of  ”Valentine’ by Kina Grannis ! Such a cute voice and lovely lyrics.

Although Valentine’s Day is wayyy over but hope you had a great one and remember, love is always in the air =)

Valentine - Kina Grannis

Love, it's a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary

But it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me
'Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

And it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Yeah, it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

So won't you be my honey bee?
Giving me kisses all the time
Be mine, be my Valentine

So won't you be my honey bee?
Giving sweet kisses all the time
Be mine, be my Valentine

Oh, be my Valentine

Tags: batam, kina grannis, Love, midterms, valentine, valentine's day, vday

Have a ROARing Valentine !

Happy (overrated) Valentine’s Day ! Oops, I forgot the year of Tiger (my year!) kinda took away the fun for all the hallmark greeting cards and big bouquets of roses most girls are expecting. Come on, Vday shouldn’t be just for this ONE day when you’re in love.

This day is just totally over-hyped ! What’s the point of being sweet for just one day and being ‘normal’ again for the rest of the year ? It should be spontaneous and just surprise your loved ones every other time you feel like it !

If you want to give me a Valentine’s Day present, give me a gift of love that will last my lifetime !

Not forgetting, Happy Chinese New Year ! I hope couples out there made the ‘right’ decision to spend the special day with family as well. ‘Luckily’ for the boyfriend, my family decides to escape from Singapore for CNY (since we don’t have relatives here) for a short Batam getaway (my first time too! Will blog about it when I’m back!) so he doesn’t have to face that dilemma. Hur.

Have yourselves a happy holiday nonetheless =)

Tags: batam, chinese new year, cny, cupid, getaway, hallmark greeting cards, Love, roses, singapore, valentine's day, vday, year of tiger

Overheard On The Bus : Money Over Love ?

Earlier this week, I overheard this bunch of secondary school boys chatting among themselves on the bus.

The conversation as followed :

Boy A : 我长大以后，我要有多多的钱咯！(When I grow up, I want to be really rich!)

Boy B : 我要 chio bu 老婆！(I want a pretty wife!)

Boy A : 不用啦，有钱 then 你要几个老婆都可以咯 (No need, you can have as many wives as you want if you have the money.)

Boy C : 可以买 meh ? (Can I buy them?)

Boy A : 你有钱 then 她们就会来咯！(If you have money then they’ll come to you)

I’m appalled to hear such comments from the boys, especially when they are just secondary school boys (say 13-16 years old?) With that kind of mindset, I really doubt the ‘bright future’ of our society. So are you trying to say that with money, you can ‘buy’ girls ? Is money really everything ?

Another point worth mentioning is – why are girls being viewed this way ? Is it the way we behave or stereotypes of how most girls simply just dream to marry into a rich family and be ‘Tai Tai’s ?

‘When you’re in charge of money, you’re in charge of your life’. Money is certainly important and most parents would agree that you should marry someone who shares similar social class background. Rather than ‘gold-digging’, I’ll advice girls to be financially independent and pursue love instead.

At the same time, don”t be duped by romantic unrealistic dreams and regret later on in life. Smart individuals earn their own money and find your own happy love story ending at the same time…and gain that respect from the opposite gender.

Would you choose to marry ‘Money’ over ‘Love’ ?

Tags: boys, bus, gold-digging, independent, Love, marriage, money, overheard, relationship, secondary school, society, stereotypes, tai tai

Ever Yours,with Love.

It’s a Saturday afternoon in December of 2008. With a Toffeenut Latte at RafflesCity Starbucks, I was waiting for the boyfriend aka ‘Daryl the Shitfu’ anxiously after long months of him being just a 2D figure on my screen. Months of chatting online till wee hours (since he was in Canada for exchange) and never-ending emails, finally we met up to have our Toffeenut Latte ‘real date’ and xmas presents exchange. Rather awkward to see him again after so long but glad I agreed to meet him instead of waiting for the school term to start ! (What a difference it might have been!)

And the story continues when we evolved into this ‘complicated’ status on Facebook (social media dependents..lol) which eventually became this not-so-complicated relationship of ours. Of course, Love is never perfect- we both shared our emotional ups and downs in the relationship from the start. Somehow, it’s the seemingly bad and counter-emotions that enable us to appreciate the positive emotions or happy times together.

There are moments when we could possibly be the most insensitive prick to eachother’s feelings which resulted in even more communication breakdowns or disagreements. To make matters worse, we’re both just as hot tempered and stubborn to listen or give in when we were arguing. I’m glad we are learning to listen and understand, respond to the other person as who he/she really is, having more patience with eachother now. Not easy to state all the changes he/I have made over these 12 months – Something new for the both of us but I guess it’s a good thing because if  you don’t love and care for someone – you wouldn’t bother to change ?

Not to get all mushy, but we definitely put in alot of love and effort into this ‘long yet short’ one year. Despite our differences, I think we’ve grown alot from this relationship and learnt to appreciate each other more each day. Things may be awkward at times because we don’t know how to handle the situations, but I believe as long as there’s love – we can overcome these obstacles =)

Looking forward to each and every coming anniversaries together, with trust and the love we bear each other, I hope it will be sufficient to make them blessed…Thank you for loving me =)

Love is a magical thing, it just happens – and I may have met my awkward ‘perfect’ match

Happy our Anniversary to all ! Hur.

Tags: 2008.2009, anniversary, boyfriend, canada, christmas, daryl, exchange, facebook, Love, rafflescity, relationship, social media, starbucks, toffeenut latte

Idealism and Illusion

There’s always the ideal relationship which is based on our own expectations, experiences and perceptions. The relationship that we’re currently in has its own set of conditions which then provides a context for these expectations and makes each relationship unique. These relationships have always been “ideal” until they bump into the reality of it that we get into troubles. Troubles in a subtle sense of insecurity or uncertainty or inexplicably feeling awkward at random occasions. And when you let the ideal of  your relationship overshadow the reality – you are lost in your own illusion.

Sometimes you are afraid of losing – losing the familiarity, losing the “love of your life”, losing to yourself for believing in something you thought was “right”. As devastating as it seems, you may have failed to notice something that’s amiss in your relationship and running away from reality instead of confronting it. Romantic illusions are deceptive/seductive but molding yourself or your partner to someone they are not in order to create an ideal relationship is not the foundation of what a true lasting committed relationship is based upon.

Most of the time, you just have to work out the differences together and compromise while accepting he/she for someone you fell in love with in the first place.  If allowances are given to adjust, most of the time I think couples do become stronger under duress and the relationship would most usually endure. However, if problems are failed to be addressed, it’ll just lead to even bigger issues in the future and it gets even more destructive. Regardless how perfect a relationship may first appear to be, it’s usually just a flawed illusion that can be easily destroyed. Those “Happily Ever After” are woven illusions with defects that are never mentioned, sometimes such idealism may just sabotage your life.

Optimists should continue to hope otherwise. Hur.

–

What do I love about my relationship is -  as much as it appeared to be perfect from the start, we do have our hiccups along the way and I dare say it was not exactly smooth transitions during the past 8 months either since we are almost opposite individuals with rather different thinking/value systems. One thing I’ve learnt is that a relationship is not just 2 people being in love but helping each other to grow and discover the good in themselves while not ignoring and letting the worse gets by.  You don’t mold yourself to become someone you’re not but to someone better in general – there is a difference.

Just want to say “Thank You” to the boyfriend for sticking together through the good and bad, happy and sad times.

Tags: boyfriend, conditions, differences, expectations, experiences, happily ever after, Idealism, Illusion, losing, Love, love of your life, optimists, perceptions, reality, relationship, romantic, troubles

AOTW [9] : Eagle-Eye Cherry

Randomly came across Eagle-Eye Cherry while looking at random music videos on youtube. Didn’t pay much attention to it till I came across the name again on my tumblr.

As usual, I like songs which contain lyrics that relates to me or at least meaningful enough to complete a song. This is pretty awesome for those wanting to fall in love again, but dare not make the move because you have once been hurt before. Sometimes all it takes is a simple promise (and I don’t mean empty promises) to make that someone feels loved and wanted again. (ahh..I sure sound very emotional here for a second,hur)

I have to say, another not-exactly-new-myspace artiste but here’s his hit from 1998 which I thought was quite a nice one (with really retro music video feel).

Eagle-Eye Cherry “Falling In Love Again”
I’m so tired
Of falling in love
Finding it easier to fall out
Can’t deny it
I feel it inside cupids fire
I can’t hide

I’m falling in love again
Ain’t nothing I can do
Falling in love again
Girl this time its with you
When I fall
It’s always the same
And I’m so tired
Of playing this game

It’s been so long now
Since I gave up my heart
I’ve kept it locked down
I don’t wanna get it harmed
So let me tell you now
I just want to be sure
That you wont hurt me
Can you promise me that

You got to tell me
If you’re going to break my heart
cos I don’t wanna take the chance
And if it ain’t true
All it’s gonna be
Is nothing but a poor romance
So give me that promise to hold on
And I’ll never let you go
We gotta have something to go on
I’m letting you know now

Falling in love again

Tags: eagle-eye cherry, falling in love again, Love, lyrics, myspace, promise, retro, tumblr, youtube