Ever Yours,with Love.
It’s a Saturday afternoon in December of 2008. With a Toffeenut Latte at RafflesCity Starbucks, I was waiting for the boyfriend aka ‘Daryl the Shitfu’ anxiously after long months of him being just a 2D figure on my screen. Months of chatting online till wee hours (since he was in Canada for exchange) and never-ending emails, finally we met up to have our Toffeenut Latte ‘real date’ and xmas presents exchange. Rather awkward to see him again after so long but glad I agreed to meet him instead of waiting for the school term to start ! (What a difference it might have been!)
And the story continues when we evolved into this ‘complicated’ status on Facebook (social media dependents..lol) which eventually became this not-so-complicated relationship of ours. Of course, Love is never perfect- we both shared our emotional ups and downs in the relationship from the start. Somehow, it’s the seemingly bad and counter-emotions that enable us to appreciate the positive emotions or happy times together.
There are moments when we could possibly be the most insensitive prick to eachother’s feelings which resulted in even more communication breakdowns or disagreements. To make matters worse, we’re both just as hot tempered and stubborn to listen or give in when we were arguing. I’m glad we are learning to listen and understand, respond to the other person as who he/she really is, having more patience with eachother now. Not easy to state all the changes he/I have made over these 12 months – Something new for the both of us but I guess it’s a good thing because if you don’t love and care for someone – you wouldn’t bother to change ?
Not to get all mushy, but we definitely put in alot of love and effort into this ‘long yet short’ one year. Despite our differences, I think we’ve grown alot from this relationship and learnt to appreciate each other more each day. Things may be awkward at times because we don’t know how to handle the situations, but I believe as long as there’s love – we can overcome these obstacles =)
Looking forward to each and every coming anniversaries together, with trust and the love we bear each other, I hope it will be sufficient to make them blessed…Thank you for loving me =)
Love is a magical thing, it just happens – and I may have met my awkward ‘perfect’ match 
Happy our Anniversary to all ! Hur.
Idealism and Illusion
There’s always the ideal relationship which is based on our own expectations, experiences and perceptions. The relationship that we’re currently in has its own set of conditions which then provides a context for these expectations and makes each relationship unique. These relationships have always been “ideal” until they bump into the reality of it that we get into troubles. Troubles in a subtle sense of insecurity or uncertainty or inexplicably feeling awkward at random occasions. And when you let the ideal of your relationship overshadow the reality – you are lost in your own illusion.
Sometimes you are afraid of losing – losing the familiarity, losing the “love of your life”, losing to yourself for believing in something you thought was “right”. As devastating as it seems, you may have failed to notice something that’s amiss in your relationship and running away from reality instead of confronting it. Romantic illusions are deceptive/seductive but molding yourself or your partner to someone they are not in order to create an ideal relationship is not the foundation of what a true lasting committed relationship is based upon.
Most of the time, you just have to work out the differences together and compromise while accepting he/she for someone you fell in love with in the first place. If allowances are given to adjust, most of the time I think couples do become stronger under duress and the relationship would most usually endure. However, if problems are failed to be addressed, it’ll just lead to even bigger issues in the future and it gets even more destructive. Regardless how perfect a relationship may first appear to be, it’s usually just a flawed illusion that can be easily destroyed. Those “Happily Ever After” are woven illusions with defects that are never mentioned, sometimes such idealism may just sabotage your life.
Optimists should continue to hope otherwise. Hur.
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What do I love about my relationship is - as much as it appeared to be perfect from the start, we do have our hiccups along the way and I dare say it was not exactly smooth transitions during the past 8 months either since we are almost opposite individuals with rather different thinking/value systems. One thing I’ve learnt is that a relationship is not just 2 people being in love but helping each other to grow and discover the good in themselves while not ignoring and letting the worse gets by. You don’t mold yourself to become someone you’re not but to someone better in general – there is a difference.
Just want to say “Thank You” to the boyfriend for sticking together through the good and bad, happy and sad times.
AOTW [9] : Eagle-Eye Cherry
Randomly came across Eagle-Eye Cherry while looking at random music videos on youtube. Didn’t pay much attention to it till I came across the name again on my tumblr.
As usual, I like songs which contain lyrics that relates to me or at least meaningful enough to complete a song. This is pretty awesome for those wanting to fall in love again, but dare not make the move because you have once been hurt before. Sometimes all it takes is a simple promise (and I don’t mean empty promises) to make that someone feels loved and wanted again. (ahh..I sure sound very emotional here for a second,hur)
I have to say, another not-exactly-new-myspace artiste but here’s his hit from 1998 which I thought was quite a nice one (with really retro music video feel).
Eagle-Eye Cherry “Falling In Love Again”
I’m so tired
Of falling in love
Finding it easier to fall out
Can’t deny it
I feel it inside cupids fire
I can’t hide
I’m falling in love again
Ain’t nothing I can do
Falling in love again
Girl this time its with you
When I fall
It’s always the same
And I’m so tired
Of playing this game
It’s been so long now
Since I gave up my heart
I’ve kept it locked down
I don’t wanna get it harmed
So let me tell you now
I just want to be sure
That you wont hurt me
Can you promise me that
You got to tell me
If you’re going to break my heart
cos I don’t wanna take the chance
And if it ain’t true
All it’s gonna be
Is nothing but a poor romance
So give me that promise to hold on
And I’ll never let you go
We gotta have something to go on
I’m letting you know now
Falling in love again
Making a Commitment in Love
The boyfriend invited me along to one of his best buddy’s wedding last Saturday, this is the first time I’ve attended a wedding without my parents around *and* it’s a friend’s wedding. It makes me happy to see how deeply in love the couple is and how blissful the whole wedding ended off with wonderful blessings from friends and family. Weddings are such fun and *aww moments , I’m guessing all the girls must be secretly wondering if they’ll be the next bride that night ! Congratulations to the couple and best wishes for the two of them =)
It makes me wonder how much it takes to make a commitment in love. I used to have huge commitment phobia, especially in terms of relationships. Now, I believe that such commitment is an on-going effort in which the couple think of one another as “us”, rather than just “you” and “me” as individuals. You experience decisions and setbacks together, learn to communicate, develop a sense of mutual trust and gain intimate knowledge of each other’s lives. Sounds easy but it is probably more complicated than it seems. It really is an effort that both parties have to agree and commit to.
What do I mean by that ? Take for example, I had a really good weekend because of little “efforts” that both the bf and I made. I never quite liked attending his social gatherings with friends as I find it awkward (well, we’re still relatively “young” couple afterall), but I decided that this wedding is not to be missed since it means alot to him. I’m glad I attended it with him because I got to know his life and friends alot better. Similarly, I spent the sunday with my family at Sentosa resort. The boyfriend didn’t mind entertaining my lil niece or my parents over dinner and even made an effort to communicate with them. (fyi,language barrier.haha) It certainly means alot to me as it is really a warm fuzzy feeling to see your bf getting along with your family. I guess it’s all these little things that you do for each other (without announcing that you’re going to do it *for* the person) that makes a difference. It makes you appreciate your partner more and treasure the relationship because you know that both of you are in it together.
Being terrible in mathematics myself, I think I have come up with a perfect equation for my belief in love/commitment : One plus One equals to Three: “you”, “me”, and us. 
What is Love ? I Don’t Know !
Love is lots of things to me.
I can go on and on about how different people may interpret ‘love’ as.
I can tell you all the different definitions you may find online and stories about how love “should be” like.
There is no singular explanation for ‘love’ because it is a special feeling deep within us, one that makes your heart flutters and yearns for more.
It has something to do with everything when it comes to ‘love’ and the only thing that matters is really just the two people who are in love with each other.
I happened to come across this old song by Joni Mitchell, “Both Sides Now” and I liked this part of the lyrics most :
I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall.
I really don’t know love at all
I can’t say I am a love guru but I have seen happy stories and way too many heartbreaks since I first came across ‘love’.
I believe that there is no such thing as “Mr Perfect” or “The One” out there but that doesn’t mean you can’t find that special someone in your life.
Of course, I’m still at an age that I can’t possibly declare now that the boyfriend is the one I want to spend my entire life with (even though I do want to, haha)
If you ask me “So is this the true love you’ve been waiting for ?” – I honestly don’t know and there’s no way I can tell you the answer.
But he is someone special to me. I may not know how ‘love’ should be like but I think as long as the two people are comfortable with each other and have a certain level of trust and love between them – that’s all it takes to keep the relationship going. (Of course, communication is really important)
I think I have been reading too many relationship-related books lately, just finished “He’s just not that into you” ! Will review it soon 
Actually what triggered this post was thanks to the boyfriend, was quite a sweet surprise to see him at my voiddeck today 
Especially when he stays at the other end of the world is not exactly an ‘Eastsider’ like me. (and I was late for at least half an hour..haha)
These are the small things in life that makes a difference, and how special love can be.
It is the thought that counts (as cliche as it sounds) but it’s true. Really! Try it on someone you love =)
P.S : No, this is not a mushy post ! I just want to share how people can keep a relationship going strong ! 
