ingridmak.net

Overheard On The Bus : Money Over Love ?

Earlier this week, I overheard this bunch of secondary school boys chatting among themselves on the bus.

The conversation as followed :

Boy A : 我长大以后，我要有多多的钱咯！(When I grow up, I want to be really rich!)

Boy B : 我要 chio bu 老婆！(I want a pretty wife!)

Boy A : 不用啦，有钱 then 你要几个老婆都可以咯 (No need, you can have as many wives as you want if you have the money.)

Boy C : 可以买 meh ? (Can I buy them?)

Boy A : 你有钱 then 她们就会来咯！(If you have money then they’ll come to you)

I’m appalled to hear such comments from the boys, especially when they are just secondary school boys (say 13-16 years old?) With that kind of mindset, I really doubt the ‘bright future’ of our society. So are you trying to say that with money, you can ‘buy’ girls ? Is money really everything ?

Another point worth mentioning is – why are girls being viewed this way ? Is it the way we behave or stereotypes of how most girls simply just dream to marry into a rich family and be ‘Tai Tai’s ?

‘When you’re in charge of money, you’re in charge of your life’. Money is certainly important and most parents would agree that you should marry someone who shares similar social class background. Rather than ‘gold-digging’, I’ll advice girls to be financially independent and pursue love instead.

At the same time, don”t be duped by romantic unrealistic dreams and regret later on in life. Smart individuals earn their own money and find your own happy love story ending at the same time…and gain that respect from the opposite gender.

Would you choose to marry ‘Money’ over ‘Love’ ?

Tags: boys, bus, gold-digging, independent, Love, marriage, money, overheard, relationship, secondary school, society, stereotypes, tai tai

Saying “I Do” : Beauty of Marriage

I have always thought marriage is just a piece of paper and “just a proper excuse to have sex” since growing up. Never really thought of it as something sweet or long lasting because of many divorces and unhappy marriages I’ve witnessed over the years. Each time my parents/sister and her husband  have an argument, I find myself even more determined *NOT* to get married in the future.

My mindset started to change when my mom had her first operation, I finally understood the beauty of marriage and having someone who truly loves you,”to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” My father never once complained about how tiring or troublesome things were (even if he did threw his temper at my sis and I occasionally..haha), nor did he leave my mother to suffer alone. He took care of her with such tender loving care, waited patiently for her in the hospital while she had her operation,sat by her quietly as she sleeps,learning something new and cleanse the wound for her everyday, sent her to the doctor for daily checkup and more. Honestly, at that point of time, I really thought if loving someone meant doing all those things without a single grumble, I don’t think I can love someone at all. Daddy Mak is indeed my hero, deep down in my heart.

“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” -G. K. Chesterton

Sure enough, my parents are no saint either. They do bicker every now and then but I’ve come to realized that all couples do that and it’s perfectly fine if things are worked out between the two afterwards.  The beauty of marriage to me is how two people complement each other with their own gifts and insights instead of trying to be like one another or competing for the same role. While relationship requires devotion, honesty and loyalty, I think marriage is to unite two people at the essential body and heart level (ie communication and intimacy) which is important to maintain a long lasting relationship. Right ?

Till now, I really can’t imagine myself getting married and having a family of my own someday. Even though girls at my age are either planning for their weddings or thinking of having a dozen kids……but oh my, what a scary thought. =\ I want to make sure I really can commit to a marriage before saying “I Do”, that’s for sure.

Guess the boyfriend will have to work harder eh ? =P hur…unless he doesn’t want to marry me *boohoo*…LOL!

“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Tags: argument, beauty of marriage, bicker, boyfriend, communication, complement each other, devotion, divorces, essential body and heart level, father, gifts and insights, growing up, hero, honesty, incomplete, intimacy, loyalty, marriage, marry me, mindset, mother, operation, relationship, saint, scary thought, sex, vow