Saying “I Do” : Beauty of Marriage
I have always thought marriage is just a piece of paper and “just a proper excuse to have sex” since growing up. Never really thought of it as something sweet or long lasting because of many divorces and unhappy marriages I’ve witnessed over the years. Each time my parents/sister and her husband have an argument, I find myself even more determined *NOT* to get married in the future.
My mindset started to change when my mom had her first operation, I finally understood the beauty of marriage and having someone who truly loves you,”to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” My father never once complained about how tiring or troublesome things were (even if he did threw his temper at my sis and I occasionally..haha), nor did he leave my mother to suffer alone. He took care of her with such tender loving care, waited patiently for her in the hospital while she had her operation,sat by her quietly as she sleeps,learning something new and cleanse the wound for her everyday, sent her to the doctor for daily checkup and more. Honestly, at that point of time, I really thought if loving someone meant doing all those things without a single grumble, I don’t think I can love someone at all. Daddy Mak is indeed my hero, deep down in my heart.
“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” -G. K. Chesterton
Sure enough, my parents are no saint either. They do bicker every now and then but I’ve come to realized that all couples do that and it’s perfectly fine if things are worked out between the two afterwards. The beauty of marriage to me is how two people complement each other with their own gifts and insights instead of trying to be like one another or competing for the same role. While relationship requires devotion, honesty and loyalty, I think marriage is to unite two people at the essential body and heart level (ie communication and intimacy) which is important to maintain a long lasting relationship. Right ?
Till now, I really can’t imagine myself getting married and having a family of my own someday. Even though girls at my age are either planning for their weddings or thinking of having a dozen kids……but oh my, what a scary thought. =\ I want to make sure I really can commit to a marriage before saying “I Do”, that’s for sure.
Guess the boyfriend will have to work harder eh ? =P hur…unless he doesn’t want to marry me *boohoo*…LOL!
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” -Zsa Zsa Gabor
EQ > IQ , which is more important ?
I am not a person who is really good with words or expressing myself, especially when it comes to things dealing with family and personal issues. My mother is diagnosed with cancer some time back but she is the bravest and strongest woman I’ve ever known, she’s doing well so far. We have been supporting her for the past months and recently the doctor insisted that she needs another operation to get rid of the bad cancer cells.
Despite the fact that I have to clear 10 weeks of internship for my academic credit, I decided to end my internship earlier (6 weeks instead of 12) so that I can be around at home to help out and take care of my mother after her operation next week. My internship company has been very understanding and my colleagues were really supportive, I thank them for that. They were cool with my decision and thought it was the best decision for me as well although I have probably left my projects halfway through and rather last minute notice.
I contacted the school staff to check if there were any administrative work to be done and sure enough, it was a quick reply from the office. However, I thought it would have been handled better. I understand that work has to be done and the office has standard procedures/questions to ask before agreeing to terminate an internship contract. I have to admit that I would have flared up if not for being really exhausted and emotionally drained at that point of time when the conversation was held. No names because firstly I do not want any more troubles and secondly I don’t think it’s his/her fault.
staff : ” What do you mean by family matters?”
me : -explaining my mother’s condition-
staff : “Oh, what stage is she at?”
At that point of time, I really did not know how to answer because I was not mentally prepared to have an intense conversation with a stranger about it nor do I think it was necessary. But I replied anyways, thinking they probably had (bad) students using such excuses to get away from internship. (Although who in the right mind would curse his/her own parents with cancer ?)
staff : “isn’t there any one else to take care of her ? what happens when school starts ?”
I do think this is the least I can do as a daughter and if necessary, I would give up my degree to be with my family for as long as I can. I don’t think even if I have 10 other siblings around to take care of my mother (which I don’t by the way), that can reduce or strip me away from the duty of being a daughter. I was rather appalled with the question and I explained that it is my responsibility even if my father is around to look after my mother and even when school reopens, I believe I have more time with my family because my timetable is up to me to decide ?
Of course my internship termination has been approved eventually without further questions. It could have been dealt with better if staffs are trained on their EQ aspects. Honestly, I would have broke down at work over the phone or yelled into the phone if I could not control my emotions/temper better. My sister was furious to hear about this and wanted to write a complaint letter, but I really don’t see the point when others are probably just trying to get their work done.
The next time when you face such situations, do remember to put yourself into the other’s shoes before saying things without thinking of how the person might feel. EQ is more important than IQ at times. It sucks to be “EQ Zero”.
P.S : Thank you for the friends and loved ones who has been by my side during this period of time. We’re doing fine+strong and I believe she’ll be alright soon =) No worries but do keep her/us in your prayers =) I did not write this post to gain sympathy or whatnots, so please refrain from asking about my mother or telling me to be strong and have faith. I appreciate the kind thoughts/words. Thank you !
